Needless to say I'm sad. I'm sad to leave all the kind and beautiful people I've met here in Jordan. I'm sad to see my Duke Engage group disband and not be together for at least one year. I'm sad to leave my host family who so graciously took us into their home and made me feel incredibly comfortable in a foreign nation. I'm going to miss the beautiful culture in Jordan that focuses so much more on family and religion than anything else. I'm going to miss talking to people who have opened my eyes to the suffering in the world but also the incredible strength and perseverance that humans have.
Leaving my host family was especially hard on my last morning, especially once I saw my host mother tear up. Inshallah I will see them again. I never expected myself to want to come back to this country, and I definitely did not expect to live so comfortably.
I hate letting go and leaving people. I realized that in order to deal with these emotions I tend to take out the emotion out of the situation. I think of the people I meet and the places I went to without the emotion, almost as if everything and everyone were just things. But I refuse to let myself feel that way this time. I want to remember the emotions that I had when I first entered my host family's house, a little nervous but excited to see who was taking me in. I want to remember the happiness and love I felt on the nights with my group when I laughed so hard at our jokes. I want to remember the rush of thrill and awe that I felt while walking through Petra, one of the wonders of the world. I also want to remember the times when I spent alone in Jordan in my room battling with the issues of last semester and of my past but remember how strong I felt when was finally able to let go.
Coming to Jordan did more for me than anyone will ever know. I became less naive, a little more smart, a bit more independent, and a lot stronger. I want to come back. One day I will, and I am certain of that. I'm so thankful for being able to go on this program.
Even though I am back in the states there are still things about Jordan that I want to reflect on. I am going to continue to reflect and blog about my experience the next couple of weeks so stay tuned.
Also my hummus count ended at 55! I expected myself to eat a lot more hummus, but it really decreased once Ramadan started.
Here are some pictures that sum up my trip.
Leaving my host family was especially hard on my last morning, especially once I saw my host mother tear up. Inshallah I will see them again. I never expected myself to want to come back to this country, and I definitely did not expect to live so comfortably.
I hate letting go and leaving people. I realized that in order to deal with these emotions I tend to take out the emotion out of the situation. I think of the people I meet and the places I went to without the emotion, almost as if everything and everyone were just things. But I refuse to let myself feel that way this time. I want to remember the emotions that I had when I first entered my host family's house, a little nervous but excited to see who was taking me in. I want to remember the happiness and love I felt on the nights with my group when I laughed so hard at our jokes. I want to remember the rush of thrill and awe that I felt while walking through Petra, one of the wonders of the world. I also want to remember the times when I spent alone in Jordan in my room battling with the issues of last semester and of my past but remember how strong I felt when was finally able to let go.
Coming to Jordan did more for me than anyone will ever know. I became less naive, a little more smart, a bit more independent, and a lot stronger. I want to come back. One day I will, and I am certain of that. I'm so thankful for being able to go on this program.
Even though I am back in the states there are still things about Jordan that I want to reflect on. I am going to continue to reflect and blog about my experience the next couple of weeks so stay tuned.
Also my hummus count ended at 55! I expected myself to eat a lot more hummus, but it really decreased once Ramadan started.
Here are some pictures that sum up my trip.