Leaving my host family was especially hard on my last morning, especially once I saw my host mother tear up. Inshallah I will see them again. I never expected myself to want to come back to this country, and I definitely did not expect to live so comfortably.
I hate letting go and leaving people. I realized that in order to deal with these emotions I tend to take out the emotion out of the situation. I think of the people I meet and the places I went to without the emotion, almost as if everything and everyone were just things. But I refuse to let myself feel that way this time. I want to remember the emotions that I had when I first entered my host family's house, a little nervous but excited to see who was taking me in. I want to remember the happiness and love I felt on the nights with my group when I laughed so hard at our jokes. I want to remember the rush of thrill and awe that I felt while walking through Petra, one of the wonders of the world. I also want to remember the times when I spent alone in Jordan in my room battling with the issues of last semester and of my past but remember how strong I felt when was finally able to let go.
Coming to Jordan did more for me than anyone will ever know. I became less naive, a little more smart, a bit more independent, and a lot stronger. I want to come back. One day I will, and I am certain of that. I'm so thankful for being able to go on this program.
Even though I am back in the states there are still things about Jordan that I want to reflect on. I am going to continue to reflect and blog about my experience the next couple of weeks so stay tuned.
Also my hummus count ended at 55! I expected myself to eat a lot more hummus, but it really decreased once Ramadan started.
Here are some pictures that sum up my trip.